Kids in America

Back online now so phew.

During my 'deceive to conceive' plotting I found it necessary to research the lifespan of a sperm.

But in doing so I stumbled onto an alarming message board. A teenager in the States wanted to know whether her “sister” could be pregnant. She’d broken up with her boyfriend, retrieved a four-day-old condom from the bin and emptied its contents into her vagina.

There were several answers. ‘T’ said not to worry, as soon as sperm hits the air it dies. Another put ‘T’ right saying sperm can live for up to two hours but not four days in the rubbish bin. ‘T’ posted again thanking the corrector for correcting. Then another post said she didn’t have to worry that her “sister” was pregnant but should maybe get her some psychiatric help.

The information I was after was on a different website. Its language suggested authority – a doctor maybe. It said as long as sperm is wet it is alive.

I’m sorry for the detail but this is a record of my attempt to beat the clock. As such it may necessitate the logging of unsavoury aspects that are crucial in helping me expand my family.