Tipping the Scales

Just for the record I really do love the Prince.

I know you'd never have figured that from this rantish diary. He just drives me fucking insane with his lack of communication and habit for sweeping stuff under the seagrass.

It kills me because I really really love him and want him. I just want him to want me too. And I don't think he does or we'd not be here.

He wants everything to be fine and happy all the time. He can't cope when it's not, just withdraws.

But isn't that what life is supposed to be about? Working on changing feelings/compromising in order to make marriages work?

I've tried to adjust to a future without my big family/doggy/cat dreams and just end up feeling resentful.

I don't think he'd put up much of a fight to save this thing if I was to ask him to leave.

It's sometimes a good idea to list things - bad and good points to see what outweighs what. So let's give it a go:

HIS GOOD POINTS

He's funny (and still makes me laugh)
He's got great taste
He's a great dad
He's gorgeous
He's knowlegable/intelligent
Not bad re. housework
Has v interesting job

HIS BAD POINTS

He doesn't like talking
He's not affectionate
Thinks "being here" is enough contribution to the relationship
He's immature
He's a raving snob
No empathy (can't put himself in anyone else's shoes)
Treats me like a mother
Often puts me down
Doesn't want any further commitment than what we have already
Doesn't want to marry me but asked twice (why?)
Doesn't want to spend an evening with me at dinner or theatre
Is a loner
Picks his nose disgustingly
Farts a lot (not that important)
Leaves dirty clothes on floor instead of washbasket (not that important)

MY GOOD POINTS (according to me)

Kind
Caring
Considerate
Empathetic
Loving
Hard working (don't expect the man to be main breadwinner, go half half on everything)
Ok looking
Up for a laugh
Good mummy

MY BAD POINTS (according to me)

Worry too much
Too obsessed with equality
Highly strung sometimes
Anger control issues
Like wearing slobby clothes

Anyway, I get my 50 minutes of listening time this evening. Am going to put it to him that he wants out and see what he says.