Woke up. Farted thunderously. Not slept these past two nights. Worried new shift pattern will tax Me Time. Can't believe I'm worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. That's normally Indigo's bag. Must check out her "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" book in the self help library on her shelf.
She knows I read the diary. I couldn't help myself. It was like honey to bees or sugar to ants - irresistable. She was away. I had two days all by myself so ate my dinner at the desk and read the lot. Realised how obsessed she is by one thought alone... but it makes no difference to me.
Like Muffin the Mule I am refusing to budge, to change my mind, to consider her and our future happiness. Why should I compromise? I am happy to stand back (or lie back on my sunlounger) and observe the life that passes by. The years roll on and we are exactly the same as we were. No hassles, nothing too deep and meaningful and certainly no cats, no dogs, no tortoises, turtles or pet goats.
Most importantly of all no babies. Rosie will get used to being the odd one out wherever she goes. If she doesn't experience that intense closeness you share with a sibling she won't miss out will she? And so what if she ends up alone in adulthood? I'm sure she'll make friends, won't she?
Indigo has said she's going to try not to mention it anymore. I hope that compromise won't come back to haunt her.
Anyway, dear diary, must go. Films to watch and books to read. Adios.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
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