Funny old life

Poor neglected e-friend, so sorry to you and to November for keeping you out of the loop.

Things have moved at a rapid pace. There I was flat-hunting in Teddington, phoning local schools, telling all my friends, reading Rosie books about divorce in the library and trying to hide big fat tears plopping off my chin .... all of a sudden things took a new turn.

It happened one morning... coincidentally after he'd gone out with a mutual friend of ours for a heart to heart. The next day there were flowers waiting for me by the kettle at 6am. Chocolates too. And hugs.

Almost every day now he'll phone to say he'll pick up Rosie from school or give me warning if he can't. He's booked annual leave for her nativity play and another day off to meet her new teacher. He makes the dinner almost every evening and cleans up. He does "the bedtime"' every night and is much more attentive to Rosie.

I think finally he woke up to what he was about to lose, and the fear of losing Rosie has made him realise he has to treat me right too.

We're not really having sex much but that's mostly because I've been so tired. Tired of the emotions and my demanding new job. But he's trying and that makes me feel better. He's stopped his Facebook flirting and I am feeling more secure and appreciated.... thus happier.

When I first saw the flowers I thought "TOO LATE MATE". Something had shifted in my head.. it had to. How else can you mean what you say if you don't make that mental move? I truly thought I couldn't go back. But it feels as if the bad times have melted away. And it's the feeling of feeling loved that's done it.

We're not out of the woods yet. No siree. If he's still not budging on the baby front by February, I'll think again and I am still going to get the eggs frozen but in January, when the job won't be so intense.

But this thing has become so much more than just about a baby. It's about mutual love/affection/respect and appreciation. If you don't have those elements in a relationship you are doomed.

Two months ago I couldn't bear to be in the same room as him, let alone go on holiday with him. I had mapped a future without him and was moving at breakneck speed. Now I'm back in my cosy life and it's as if none of that happened.

Things are coasting. We both got a wake up call. Now I actively want to go away on holiday with him. It's nice just living in the moment.

Hope it lasts.